The Journey to Authenticity: 6 things I figured out today

Hello all!

I have so much planned for this year already, and I'm overflowing with excitement about it. I feel driven, determined, and eager to accomplish all of the things I set out to do.

I also find myself dealing with fear and doubt about it at least once a day. On Monday, I proactively wrote a list called "Manifestation Manifesto," which includes all of the things I plan to do that start this year, specifically within the next six months.  Reading it aloud and looking at it daily, I am affirming these things and putting them out into the universe.  It felt so good to do that, so empowering.

The next day I was feeling fear and doubt again.

Then I decided I wasn't going to be overwhelmed with those feelings.

So, after a few inspirational podcasts ;) , I figured out these 6 things:

1) Fear is inevitable, you have to face it and dance with it
Fear will always be there. Even when it seems to have gone, it will show up for a visit.  If you try to run from your fears, they become stronger. The goal is to face them or rather "dance" with them. Check out Tony Robbins demonstrating this dance:

 Most of the time, the worst case scenario is never as bad as you think it will be. 
 "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
-Tony Robbins

The perfect and safe scenario may NEVER exist for you. So you've got to get wet!

2) Keep Going
I oven lose motivation and momentum when I figure out that things have gotten to hard. Sometimes, more often than I would like to admit, I just quit (for instance, I'm struggling to stay focused and write this post, and I'm sleepy.  I almost quit just now.)  I've learned that most things worth having take work (look for a post on weight loss soon) and there are no quick fixes.  You have to work even when it's the hardest and least desirable, and usually that's when the "magic" happens...things start to "look up" and opportunities start to flow in.  But you can't experience it if you are not working and putting the energy out there to receive it.  So keep pushing!

3) Keep people around you who inspire you and will keep you motivated
Many people will express general support when you are working towards a goal.  Heard the phrases "As long as you're happy."  or "I support you whatever you decide"?  Those are really kind words of encouragement, but when you are in the thick of it, it's most important to keep those around you who can nurture your ideas, keep you motivated, and who will most importantly, hold you accountable.  As I've stated before in my post " Keep it Moving,"  I have a million ideas buzzing in my head at any given time. If I didn't have people to talk through those things with and follow up with me, I would likely shut down and give up.  I've learned it's important reach out and ask for what you need. Sometimes you have to create your inspiration/accountability circle, and it could start with something as simple as calling a friend and sharing a new idea.

4)Have faith and affirm
Prayer, meditation, fasting, and anything else you may do to get grounded is incredibly helpful.  You have to believe you can do these things.

Affirmations are awesome.  Even though I often forget to recite them, and sometimes feel really cheezy when I do, they work WONDERS.  I'm a strong believer in the manifestation of thought and things spoken.  I can think of at least five instances of thoughts I've had that have come true. Visualize and affirm.  This is also awesome for self esteem.

5) Know that you are worthy and capable of greatness
 I could say a lot about this topic, but this classic Marianne Williamson (requoted by Nelson Mandela) quote describes it way better:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others."

I've known about this quote for over 10 years now, and it's always on point. We should not dare ever think that we are not worthy of brilliance.

6) I just realized this whole post is an affirmation. I will be reading it often.

Take wings and fly.

Rhonda Marie

Controlling your Art

What!  Two posts in one week!  I'm on fire!

No, I'm actually really tired.

Lately I've been extremely busy with all of the transitioning I've been doing.  In preparation of creating this flexible employment experience to allow space for me to pursue acting and other endavors (breath), I haven't had very much time to create.  I have been so busy working on the job change thing that is has become my major focus for the last couple weeks.  I identified this issue a few days ago but I realized through this period, I still do have my art:  this blog!  "Always Rhonda Marie" is the only consistent way that I can express my creativity.  I designed it ( I spent forever deciding on fonts), write the posts, edit the videos(just learned Sunday) and meticulously select the photos.  It is so therapeutic for me emotionally and artistically.  I have creative control...and I love it.  Or so I  thought...

(insert dramatic soap opera cliff-hanger music.)

I want to thank everyone who has read this blog.  It means the world to have the support, and to feel like I can express myself this way.  It's pretty revealing to write a blog, especially this one since it is so personal.   My last post "Authenticity-the theme for 2014" was a very big step for me.  I consider myself an "openly private" person:  when comfortable I can share quite a bit, but there is a WHOLE LOT that will hardly ever be spoken to anyone. (Those who know me well can attest to this.) It was huge for me to say many of those things out loud, and posting a video about it was even bigger. I am  pretty controlling when it  comes to my online presence.  I am very specific about what I post on all social media networks, and am a big fan of untagging and timeline hiding. Even this blog, I only (for now) share it with a few people. 

With that said, it was so freeing to create the last post.  I didn't really care if anyone liked it or not, or if anyone "got it." I just needed to say that stuff, and I did.  It felt damn good.

Then somebody posted my video on facebook. My stomach dropped.  I thought..."I didn't mean for the world to see it...just my family and friends and stuff....wait!"

Then a voice inside said:

"What a minute Rhonda?"  "What's wrong with that?"  "I thought you were all about being authentic,"  "You said it 25 times in that video."  "Be you." "Love you." "Right?"

Yep.  I was confronted with my own words.  First I thought..."I should tell the person to take it down." * Then I said..."naw just leave it.  Forget who sees it.  Who cares?"  So I didn't say anything.

( *For the record, "person who posted it"  I don't want you to take it down, I'm not mad, and you did nothing wrong, I'll explain soon*)

 I shared this with my husband and he "got me together" (hey this marriage thing, it aint too bad;) Thank you husband.)

He reminded me of a quote my Bigsistermentor Erykah Badu said (one day I'll post about when I "met" her ):

"Once you create something, it's no longer yours."

Dang.

It's true.  That's how art works.  When you put things out into the public you can't control what happens next. Who sees it. Who appreciates it. Who hates it. Who loves it.  Who needs it. Who doesn't care about it. 

Then I thought...that's amazing!  That's the wonderful POWER of art. It spreads, it evolves and it has a life of it's own.

When a director directs a play, his or her job is done opening night.  The play becomes a living breathing thing that often is a completely different piece of work by closing night. It may have not ever turned out to be the story he/she intended to tell.  But the reviewers and audiences may love it anyway.

When a painters paint pictures and showcase the work in a gallery exhibition,  they don't run in after the show and add some more periwinkle ( I just like saying periwinkle) to the ocean scene. But the teal colors in it may have created a the perfect color blend to add to a picture in a new home.

A singer doesn't get to re-do a live performance (although some of them wish they could;) But that song with a few bad notes could have brought tears and healing to someone.

You never know.  As artists, our jobs are just to create. Make art, and make more art.  So that's what I'm going to do.

Rhonda Marie

Authenticity: The theme for 2014

Happy New Year everyone!  My first entry for the new year is in video form.  In 2014, my biggest goal is to be more authentic and true to me. Check it out:
Rhonda Marie